If your child grabs toys from others, blurts out in class, or seems to act before they think—you’re not alone. Impulse control is one of the most common concerns parents raise with us. And it’s completely normal to wonder: when should my child develop impulse control?
Impulse Control Is an Executive Function Skill
Impulse control falls under a category of brain skills called executive functions—the mental abilities that help us manage behavior, make decisions, and stay on track with goals. These skills are still developing throughout childhood, and even into early adulthood.
In fact, the brain region most responsible for impulse control—the prefrontal cortex—doesn’t fully mature until the mid-to-late 20s. So if your 6-year-old is having trouble stopping themselves from interrupting or grabbing, that’s not a character flaw. It’s a brain still under construction.
What’s Typical at Different Ages?
Impulse control gradually improves as kids grow. It is closely related to inhibitory controls. Here’s a general idea of what to expect:
- Preschool (ages 3–5): Impulse control is just beginning. Children often act on immediate wants. You’ll see progress in waiting short turns and following simple directions.
- Elementary (ages 6–10): Kids become more capable of stopping and thinking—but they still need lots of reminders and support, especially when tired or upset.
- Middle School (ages 11–13): You’ll likely see more internal control and self-awareness, though emotional moments can still override logic.
- High School and Beyond: Impulse control strengthens, especially with coaching, structure, and positive reinforcement—but even teens and young adults struggle sometimes, especially under stress.
What Helps Impulse Control Develop?
Like any skill, impulse control improves with guidance, practice, and support. Here are a few ways to help:
- Use clear structure and predictable routines to reduce moments of impulsivity.
- Teach pause strategies like taking a deep breath or counting to three before responding.
- Use “do overs” to practice better choices in the moment without shaming.
- Label emotions and choices out loud to help your child build self-awareness.
Just like learning to read or tie shoes, developing impulse control takes time—and some kids need more support than others. If your child struggles significantly with impulse control and it’s affecting school, home life, or friendships, coaching or outside support can help.
Looking for More Strategies?
We support children, teens, and families with the tools and structure needed to build stronger executive function skills like impulse control, planning, and self-regulation. Reach out to learn more about how coaching can help.
